


Hope Shines Brightest In The Dark

by MagnusTesla



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, KakaIru Zine Fic, Light Angst, M/M, Past MCD (temporary), Red String of Fate, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 09:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28469202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnusTesla/pseuds/MagnusTesla
Summary: Iruka is a vampire, hundreds of years old, and throughout his time alive, has seen various reincarnations of Kakashi, but has always avoided him to save himself from heartache, having already lost him twice over before.Every part of Iruka ached, mind and body, and he felt old, right down to his bones, so tired and weary, as though the last few centuries had suddenly caught up with him. There was nothing he could do to change the past, to rewind time and right the wrongs, and yet, it was all he ever thought about these days, the presence of Kakashi’s reincarnation only further reminding him of what he’d lost,whohe’d lost.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50
Collections: KakaIru Zine: Intertwined





	Hope Shines Brightest In The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> It's really weird posting this fic, because although it was only started at the end of May 2020, my writing has changed a _lot_ and this doesn't reflect my current style or ability.
> 
> But either way I'm still proud, happy to have been involved in the zine, and I hope you'll enjoy! Be sure to check out the collection for when the other zine contributors post their fics, too!

People say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. But, Iruka can’t help but wonder if those people have ever truly experienced heartbreak so earth shattering that you would do anything, give up anything, just to experience a little slice of that love again, even if only for a mere moment. 

The first time he’d lost Kakashi had truly been the darkest period of his life. Iruka wasn’t proud of it, but for several hundred years after Kakashi’s death, he passed the time utterly blood drunk, gorging himself way beyond what was necessary for a vampire to survive. Those years were a blur, and he was thankful that he didn't remember some of the bad decisions he’d made. Call it a curse or fate, but what had snapped him out of the darkness was the first time he bumped into Kakashi, or rather, his reincarnation. Iruka could still recall that moment perfectly—

> _He’s just grabbing his coffee to go, and is leaving the shop when a barista calls out to him, waving Iruka’s forgotten wallet, “Yo, you forgot this!”_
> 
> _Everything around him fades out, like time is frozen, his barely beating heart suddenly racing, thudding so hard it feels like it’s trying to escape through his ribcage. His coffee slips from his hand, forgotten entirely, splashing all over the floor. He feels like maybe he is dying, and the roar of blood in his ears is deafening, drowning every sound out until suddenly, one single voice cuts through, “Are you okay, Iruka?”_
> 
> _"H-how?”_
> 
> _"It was written on your order. Sorry, that was weird, using your name like that, wasn’t it? C’mon, go get yourself sat down whilst I mop this up and remake your coffee.”_

That was the first and only time that Iruka let himself get involved with Kakashi again. It was like nothing and everything had changed, and for many years things had been great. That was, until Kakashi’s untimely death, an undiagnosed heart condition taking him in his sleep.

Iruka had never considered, back then, that he’d been setting himself up to relive the heartache and deep seated grief. Sure, he’d known Kakashi was human, but he’d just been so overwhelmed and blindsided with happiness that he hadn’t stopped to think things over, hadn’t stopped to consider Kakashi’s mortal existence.

“So, what tickles your fancy this week? Some B positive, or how about some sweet O neg? I think we might even have a few bags of AB negative,” Kotesu said, rummaging through the blood bags in the fridge.

With a sigh, Iruka flopped down into a chair at the kitchen table, elbows rested on the tabletop as he pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes. “I really don’t care, Ko. Just, whatever is fine.”

Kotesu gasped, hand on his chest in mock offence as he said, “Do you know how hard it is to come by AB negative? You have absolutely no appreciation for the finer tastes in life.”

“Ignore this idiot.” Izumo poked Kotetsu in the ribs as he brushed past, coming to sit next to Iruka at the table. “You look sad, did something happen?”

Of course his friends wouldn’t miss a thing, and sure, Iruka appreciated that about them, but sometimes he wished that they couldn’t read him so easily, that he could hide behind a mask, push down the hurt that was always threatening to bubble up, and pretend everything was fine.

“I keep seeing him.” Iruka elaborated, his voice wavering with each word, “he keeps coming into the library during my night shifts, spending hours reading, trying to strike up conversation with me. He’s even started bringing me coffee when he comes and-”

_It’s perfect, exactly how I like it, like somehow he remembers._

Iruka heard the fridge click shut, and then felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind, Kotesu propping his chin atop Iruka’s head. “I’m sorry, dude.”

“It’s like the universe is having a joke at my expense.”

Izumo bumped his knees against Iruka’s, asking, “Do you want to stay over tonight?”

“Thanks guys, but I think I need a bit of time alone,” Iruka said, tilting his head back to give Kotetsu a small smile. “I really need to get going, I’ve got studying to do for my upcoming teaching exam.” 

With a group hug and a promise to call his friends if he needed them, Iruka made his way back home, mindlessly drifting through the darkness. 

The journey home took longer than usual, his mind wandering, all thoughts consumed by Kakashi. On nights like this, it was easy to get lost in old memories, some painful, some happy. The moon hung fat and low in the sky, and Iruka couldn’t help but remember the nights that he and Kakashi would spend laying together under the moonlight, stargazing and so utterly in love. 

That was until everything around Iruka crumbled, when Kakashi had been murdered by an ex-friend-turned-vampire-hunter who had blamed Kakashi for his girlfriend’s death. Time had done nothing to dull the ache of loss, the pain still weighing heavy on Iruka’s heart. 

He didn’t notice how lost in thought he’d been until he came to stop outside his apartment, the sight of the front door almost taunting, a reminder that there was no one waiting on the other side, that the only thing to await him was loneliness.

A sense of unease settled over Iruka as he pushed his key into the lock, the feeling only increasing when he stepped inside and shut the door. 

It felt like deja vu and foreboding mixed together, alarm bells ringing inside his head despite not sensing any danger, and had never in his long life experienced the sensation before. Of course his body didn’t listen to mental rationale, and his usually slow heartbeat picked up pace, thud, thud, thudding hard, readying itself for a fight.

Minutes passed by like that, Iruka’s heart racing, hand clutching at his chest as the unease grew, like a snake rearing up, ready to strike. Memories flooded his mind as he stood there, swaying as they bombarded him, relentless in the way they flashed behind his eyes, replaying Kakashi’s murder over and over and over. One particular painful scene unfolded, but unlike the others, it didn’t flash by for the next; instead it lingered, almost as though it was replayed in slow motion. It made Iruka feel dizzy, and he dropped his backpack to the ground as he staggered through the hallway to his bedroom, unsteady on his feet like a newborn foal, kicking his shoes off and dropping his coat on the floor along the way.

He fell forward onto his bed, clutching at his chest as he was forced to watch the memory of Kakashi slowly turning to ash, a stake having cruelly been driven through his heart— only this time Kakashi’s last words were different: _“find me, save me,”_ he said, before crumbling in Iruka’s arms.

And just like that, the memory faded away into nothingness, leaving him feeling unbalanced, the dread still hanging heavy over him. Something wasn’t quite right, but Iruka wasn’t sure what it meant. “What are you trying to tell me,” Iruka whispered, thumb rubbing over an old photograph of Kakashi inside the locket hanging loose around his neck.

There was so much Iruka regretted in his life, but his biggest was that he’d been too slow to react that night they’d been ambushed by hunters, Kakashi shielding Iruka with his body and paying for it with his life. No matter how much time passed, Iruka continued to feel Kakashi’s absence, like a yawning great hole where his heart should be, a loss so deep that it felt he’d forever lost a part of himself.

Iruka sighed, rolling onto his side, gaze still fixed on the photograph inside the locket. It was old, worn with time, taken back in the late 1800’s after celebrating a milestone anniversary. They’d been so happy back then, so in love, and just like that, Iruka’s happiness had been cruelly ripped away. The hunters liked to call vampires a disease, monsters who needed culling, and yet, they themselves were no different, never once stopping to realise that not all vampires were killers.

Every part of Iruka ached, mind and body, and he felt old, right down to his bones, so tired and weary. It was as though the last few centuries had suddenly caught up with him. There was nothing he could do to change the past, to rewind time and right the wrongs, and yet, it was all he ever thought about these days, the presence of Kakashi’s reincarnation only further reminding him of what he’d lost, _who_ he’d lost.

He lay there, his backpack full with blood bags long since forgotten, eyes drifting shut as he fell into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning until he suddenly jerked awake at the sensation of something wrapping around his chest. It wasn’t painful, instead the sensation was warm, tingling as it seemed to sink into his skin, settling deep within his body. When he looked down, there was a red thread coming out of his chest, glowing softly, seemingly suspended mid-air and gently swaying as if caught in a breeze. Panicked, Iruka tried grabbing at the thread, only for it to pass right through his fingers like smoke, resettling into its shape only a second later. There had been mentions in vampire lore of a red thread of fate, but Iruka had never believed it, the tales had almost seemed too fantastical, like something told to ease the loneliness of their immortality.

The thread pulsated, and then, somehow, despite its incorporeality, tugged him forward, more like gentle nudges than anything at first. It was insistent, and the more Iruka resisted, mostly out of confusion than anything else, the more determined it became. “I don’t know what you want!” Iruka all but yelled, raking his fingers through his loose, sleep mussed hair. The thread responded as though it were a sentient being, the air around it shimmering brightly, swirling, shifting, until the light faded, revealing a small, red cat. It glowed, though not as bright as before, wisps of thread dancing around its small form. 

Iruka couldn’t help but reach out to pet it, and the cat responded in kind, pushing its head into Iruka’s hand, purring in contentment at the touch. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, rubbing the cat’s ear between his thumb and finger, marvelling at how silky soft it felt. “I shouldn’t have shouted. I just don’t know what you want from me.”

There was intelligence behind those feline eyes, something that spoke to a deep understanding of how Iruka was feeling, clear in the way it held Iruka’s gaze before it jumped into his lap, letting out a sad whine and pressing a paw to his chest. One moment Iruka was in his bedroom, and the next, he was free falling into darkness, spinning, until his socked feet landed on soft grass, the small cat atop his shoulder, nuzzling his cheek as if to offer comfort. 

Somehow they were standing in the park, the dimly lit lamp posts barely casting any light onto the path that wound through the trees. It was late at night, the middle of winter, and yet there was no chill to the air despite Iruka’s state of undress.

“What—” Iruka began, the words dying on his tongue when he spotted Kakashi, the man walking straight past him, unseeing, like Iruka wasn’t there at all. There wasn’t time to contemplate that thought, though, because then a hooded figure emerged from the shadows, stalking towards Kakashi, a glint of metal shining in their hand.

Iruka screamed, running towards the horror unfolding before his very eyes, only for the ground to drop out from underneath his feet, everything around him spinning, spinning, spinning, until he was dropped onto his bedroom floor. Without thought, he ran straight out of his apartment, wearing nothing but a long sleeved top, pants, and socks, ignoring how the gravel bit into his feet. His legs ached with the burn of exertion, but he didn’t care, only pushing his body harder, uncaring of who might bear witness to his supernatural speed. 

“No, no, no,” Iruka cried, dropping to his knees and cradling Kakashi in his arms. “You can’t do this to me again, please.”

Kakashi winced, then smiled, sadness clear in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Iruka. I never meant to leave you all alone.”

“You… you remember?”

“That day you walked into my coffee shop was when the dreams started.” Blood painted Kakashi’s lips red when he coughed, face twisting in pain as he continued, “At least, that’s what I thought they were. But then—”

“Then you _died,_ Kakashi. We fell asleep together and you never woke back up.” All of the pain, the grief, the loneliness, rose up like a tidal wave, heaving great sobs shaking Iruka’s body. He clutched Kakashi closer, burying his face against the man’s shoulder, tears rolling down his cheeks and soaking them both.

“A few nights ago at the library, when you smiled so brightly when I gave you that coffee, everything came flooding back.”

Iruka pulled away, gently brushing Kakashi’s hair back, his words almost deafening in the eerie silence. “And now I have to watch you die again. I can’t—” He paused, swallowing down the scream that threatened to escape —“keep doing this. When I lost you, it was like losing part of my soul. It _hurts_ , even after all this time.”

Everything around them seemed to still, the visible soft puffs of breath suspended in the air, as though time had stopped. The warmth from Iruka’s chest earlier returned; unlike before, it bloomed, hot, and then the small red cat shimmered into existence between him and Kakashi. It let out a mournful sound and then, sank its claws into Kakashi’s chest, its body burning brighter and brighter with Kakashi’s scream until, much like a star, the light died out, exploding in a brilliant burst and leaving nothing behind.

Time started flowing again, but Kakashi was still, his chest no longer rising and falling with the breath in his lungs. Iruka wanted to cry and scream and lash out, but he couldn’t, instead he pulled Kakashi close, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He stayed like that for what could have been moments, minutes, hours, he didn’t know, and just as he started to move away he heard it; the unmistakable slow beat of a vampire heart, almost lazy in its rhythm. 

“Hey, don’t cry,” Kakashi whispered, hand reaching up to cup Iruka’s face. 

“I don’t… I thought you were _dead_ and—”

Kakashi pulled Iruka down, silencing him with a kiss, a promise. “I’m here, and I swear to you, I’ll never leave you again. We’ve been given a second chance and I don’t intend to waste it.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Last year was really busy, and for those not in the know, myself and Yabakuboi started the KakaIru Zine! It went really well, and now the zine has wrapped up and completed, contributors are posting their fanfic and fanart in the collection you can find this fic in, and also on our Twitter. Check out our socials to see the beautiful fanworks that are not shown in the collection: [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kkirzine)
> 
> Massive thanks to [42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BooleanWildcard/pseuds/BooleanWildcard) for the beta ♡
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! ♡ I appreciate _every_ single kudos and comment. Your comments fuel me to keep writing!
> 
> Find me on Discord (MagnusTesla#8289) or [Tumblr](https://magnustesla.tumblr.com/)


End file.
